In this section he outlines a 3 step approach to manage an emotional chimp.
1. Exercise the chimp
And what he means by this is allowing the chimp to express some emotion.
Allowing your emotions to be expressed constructively out loud can be
helpful.
2. Box the chimp
To do this he suggests making a list of all the things that are causing you
concern. Then you can address each concern individually. The solutions and
answers that come up will then box the chimp. So this step is about listening
to the chimp and answering each with facts, truths or solutions.
Once you have the answers or solutions you can store them in the computer.
Now here he points out that we have to pay attention to what he calls Grade A
hits and Grade B hits.
Grade A hits are the truths that really resonate with us and cause us to change
our behavior. These are the ones that will box the chimp.
Grade B hits are those truths that may be true but are not helpful and don’t
resonate with you.
For example, a common one is the fear of flying.
Flying is the safest mode of transportation
Some people spend their lives flying as a career choice
3. Form a Plan
Chimps don’t think ahead nor think of the long-term consequences so each plan
has to be carefully considered and all possible outcomes taken into consideration.
A key point here is that Setbacks and failures can always be seen as opportunities
to learn from.
So there are 3 additional ways to manage the chimp.
1. Is by using a pause button, asking yourself what is the plan here ?
2. Give the chimp a banana as he describes or basically a reward.
3. Use distraction.
The final section of this Unit he outlines 5 important points to consider when
addressing concerns in trying to box the chimp.
1. Express all your concerns. Another good way to do this I find is in
journaling and just giving yourself permission to write down all those
concerns.
2. Choose your listener carefully. You want to choose someone who
understands what you are doing and can remain detached and not
engage emotionally.
3. Only cross real bridges. Don’t address concerns that are based on
assumptions and predictions,
4. Exercise the chimp by trying to listen. We have to get things off our
chest in order to listen well.
5. Seek Help.
A scientific fact about talk therapy is that the part of the brain that is
involved when we talk out our concerns is the dorsolateral prefrontal
cortex which processes the emotions and can bring in logic and
rationality.
Maria Jacques